Nice To Meet You Mouth, I'm Foot

I have been known to stick my foot in my mouth at times. I could probably write a short book of ridiculous foot-in-mouth stories from over the years. However I recently had my most public of all “I can’t believe I just said that” moments.

I was DJing a wedding last weekend in Front Royal, VA – a rare gig for me but often lots of fun. For those that don’t know Virginia geography, Front Royal is in the northern portion of the state, and only about 25 miles from the West Virginia border. Toward the end of the evening, it was time to do the traditional bouquet and garter toss. This is a wedding tradition that is slowly dying, but it was fun to do this time around. I had some amusing music planned for the bouquet toss, the garter removal, the garter toss, and lastly the big finish where the two lucky recipients get a little personal.

After the two uneventful catches, it was time for the placement of the garter on the single girl. Using my mic, I asked the crowd where the new couple was and if they were ready for the deed… nothing. The crowd milled around on the dance floor not knowing what to do as I started to play “Lets Get It On” by Marvin Gaye anticipating a sexy garment placement. I asked again, “Where is the couple? They ready? Lets do this!”.

It was at the this point the bride looked over at me and quietly said “We can’t do it. It’s all family!”. Trying to be funny (big mistake), I jokingly proclaimed on mic “We’re close enough to West Virginia aren’t we?!”.

The entire crowd stopped talking. All you can hear are ooohs, ahhhs, and boos. The bride looks over at me and says “Hey, my whole family is from West Virginia.” By this point, my foot was fully in my mouth, which made it difficult to say “Uhhhhhh.. and lets get back to some dancing!”. I turned up the music and was glad it was dark enough to hide my face turning red. But I’m guessing the bride’s mother noticed the change of color in me when she walked up 3 minutes later to ask that I say a public apology after the current song stops playing. Ouch.

Train wreck complete.  

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